


How to Reach You

by ShiroHatzuki



Category: Dangan Ronpa - All Media Types, New Dangan Ronpa V3: Everyone's New Semester of Killing
Genre: Aged-Up Character(s), Alternate Universe - No Killing Game (Dangan Ronpa), Gen, Graphic Description of Corpses, Implied/Referenced Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Mental Breakdown, References to Depression, Troubles with Reaching Out, a character dies, now I'm not sure how major this death is but
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-24
Updated: 2019-07-28
Packaged: 2020-07-17 23:05:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 11,153
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19964713
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ShiroHatzuki/pseuds/ShiroHatzuki
Summary: Would he have taken the case had he known the truth that it would have revealed? Even after all the time he spent reflecting on it, Shuichi was still not sure. If he had refused, he would have never known. He was sure that he would have felt betrayed if he was kept blind from the truth, that he would have been angry that he did not know it sooner if he ever did find out. Yet to learn like this? It was too soon. Too short, too soon.But who was he kidding? He could never be truly prepared for what he faced.-A spin-off of "Where Words Can Reach" that absolutely no one asked for in which the light of Shuichi's life goes out and finding the words to get over his grief proves to be a difficult task.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> An alternative path that takes place after chapter 8 of my previous fic, ["Where Words Can Reach](https://archiveofourown.org/works/17277644/chapters/40633331). However, you don't need to read it in order to understand what's going on in this one.

Would he have taken the case had he known the truth that it would have revealed? Even after all the time he spent reflecting on it, Shuichi was still not sure. If he had refused, he would have never known. He was sure that he would have felt betrayed if he was kept blind from the truth, that he would have been angry that he did not know it sooner if he ever did find out. Yet to learn like this? It was too soon. Too short, too soon.

But who was he kidding? He could never be truly prepared for what he faced.

It started with an offer. One colleague was called to the police station to investigate a missing person, and he offered Shuichi an opportunity to come along. Shuichi had felt a sort of child-like excitement at this offer, embracing it fully. True, he had not planned on working on missing person cases until he was more experienced, but the chance was right in front of him, for God's sake. How could he not take it.

That excitement turned to dread when he learned of the identity of this missing person. Kaede Akamatsu. A friend of the woman had called in, saying that he had not heard from her for a few days, she would not answer her phone, she did not show up to work, and when he went to her apartment, no one had answered the door. He last saw her the previous Saturday night when she ate with him and his girlfriend at his apartment.

Of course, the reason for this dread that Shuichi felt was deeper set than the fact that a young woman had gone missing. A few days ago, that same young woman had ended their relationship as lovers, just saying that she wanted to be friends. A few days ago, they had spent the day together as friends. A few days ago, they made an unofficial promise to stay in touch. Shuichi had to find this woman, not just for his job or for her family and friends, but in a small way, for himself.

Their investigation started with Kaede's apartment. Shuichi took a deep breath as he approached the door, raising his hand.

There was no doorbell, so Shuichi first tried to just knock on the door with his knuckles. "Kaede Akamatsu?" he called. "Are you in there?"

He and the officers behind him waited in silence for a minute. Then two minutes.

He tried again, this time banging on the door with as much force as he could put into his fist. "Kaede Akamatsu? Are you there?" He hoped the panic that was starting to settle in his gut was not heard in his voice.

After a few more minutes of no reply from the inside of the place, a colleague put a hand on his shoulder, taking over from there. They got a warrant to search the place, after all. Shuichi silently thought an apology to Kaede for entering her apartment.

It did not take long for the police to break the lock. Within seconds, they entered the apartment with caution.

The first thing that was clear about the apartment was that it was dark. Only the dim light from the open door and some that slipped through the cracks of the window shades allowed for the officers to see. As Shuichi's eyes adjusted to the low light, his nose picked up a smell like alcohol mixed with death. Someone found a light switch, which was flicked on. A light overhead flickered on, as if hesitating to show them what secrets the darkness was hiding.

In the middle of the room was a body- a woman with smooth, blonde hair- laying face up on the floor. Her eyes were open, unseeing, and her face was pale, almost blue.

Shuichi could not help but gasp, stumbling back a few steps until he hit a wall. His mind felt like it was detaching from his body, his vision twisting in a tunnel trying to free itself from his eyes. Yet the world tumbled and spun around that one image of the face he once knew, no longer smiling, no longer full of life. "Kaede." His body shook as he barely whispered out her name. "Kaede."

The other officers went to work, calling backup and inspecting the apartment without disturbing anything. On went over to Shuichi, asking if he was alright. Shuichi took a deep breath, then another, then another. He had to focus. On shaking legs, he stood on his own, pushing off the wall. He took a step forward and looked around. The apartment was small, with only one door seeming to lead to another room. It was opened to reveal a bathroom. All around the main room were cans upon cans and a few bottles of beer. It seemed that many of them were open. Shuichi never took Kaede as the type to drink, especially excessively, but then again, she never told him.

No matter how it was looked at, the truth seemed obvious: Kaede Akamatsu drank herself to death.

The colleague that had offered that Shuichi come along came up to him and apologized for their unexpected discovery. Shuichi shook his head, though, saying that he should have anticipated something so unfortunate. His colleague probably thought that he was only shocked at finding a dead body. While he certainly was, there was more to it. He personally knew the person that the body belonged to.

When he was told that he could go back to the station ahead of the others, Shuichi gladly took the chance to leave that small, dreary apartment. Anything to get away from having to look at the truth for any longer. He chose to walk back, needing the time to simply think. The police station was not too far, anyway.

Of course, he soon found out that letting himself retreat into his own mind was a terrible plan. His thoughts revolved around Kaede. Kaede, who shared stories and books over coffee with him. Kaede, who was dedicated to sharing music with her students. Kaede, who had a bright light around her, yet her eyes betrayed a hint of loneliness as she sat alone in that light. Kaede, who was now lifeless in a crappy apartment, surrounded by the empty containers of sorrow. Kaede, Kaede, Kaede. He almost broke down crying in the middle of the sidewalk, but he rubbed his eyes and took some deep breaths, swallowing back his tears. Right now, he could not cry.


	2. Chapter 2

Shuichi could not quite remember a large portion of the rest of the day. He probably helped fill out much of the paperwork that needed to be done. He might vaguely recall that his colleague had called back the person who had reported Kaede missing, and then that colleague said it was hard to tell the man the truth some time afterwards. He may remember that he had to start searching for any relatives of Kaede. Regardless of whether these faint memories did or did not actually happen, he was having a hard time staying grounded in the present. His mind was drifting far away into the past, and it took all of his mental strength to keep it from flying away.

He was finally able to grasp the here and now, if for a brief second, by the time he was walking home. His feet carried him on his normal route. This path he had walked countless times took him past a cafe, office buildings, gas stations, restaurants, shops, and a bar before he reached his apartment complex. The sidewalk was often crowded with people running to work or going out to eat or drink or just to buy something for whatever occasion, though the foot traffic often quieted a small bit by the time he usually went home. That is to say, it was usually night when Shuichi found himself walking home, and that night was no exception. He was struck by how normal the night was, a partial habit being the only thing that kept him from simply stopping and collapsing under how surreal it all was. Kaede was dead, but everything else was the same. Kaede was dead, but the world refused to die with her. Kaede was dead, but the world had long since moved past it.

"Ah, c'mon! Please get up and wait for a cab."

Shuichi's eyes turned towards the sound of someone's voice, his mind finding the distraction as the most interesting thing. What he found was a young man wearing a white button up and tie trying his best to pick up another from the sidewalk in front of the bar.

A tinge of sympathy stabbed Shuichi's heart for that man. He walked over to the duo and managed to get his throat to form the words, "Hey, do you need a cab?"

The young man looked up at him, seemingly surprised at his appearance. "Huh?" He recovered quickly, though. "Oh, yes, please. If you don't mind, of course."

Shuichi shook his head no, he did not mind, and stood at the edge of the sidewalk, watching the street. He waited for about five minutes, the silence being filled with the man's troubled dialogue with his drunken accomplice. As soon as he saw the outline of a cab, he hailed it, and a minute later, they were trying to load the drunkard into the back seat.

Once the downed man was taken care of, the more sober-looking one turned to Shuichi. "Thank you so much," he said. "You saved me tonight."

Shuichi shook his head. "No, it's no problem." He could not help but notice the lingering smell of alcohol on that young man, and the smell of death mixed with it.

The man rummaged through his pocket until he took out a phone. "I'll give you my number. You can call or text me if you need anything."

"Ah, it's fine," Shuichi told him. "You don't have to-"

"No, I do." The man refuted him with enough force to take him aback, shutting him up. "You did me a favor, so I have to return your kindness in some way. Please, sir."

Between the sincerity of the man before him and the drunken groans of the one in the cab, Shuichi caved and took out his own phone, exchanging numbers. As soon as that was done, the man gave him a bow before climbing into the cab. The vehicle sped away before Shuichi could process exactly what happened.

Did he just help a complete stranger? Yes. Did he just give his contact information to said stranger? Also yes. What he did not know was that stranger's name or if he even wanted to contact the man ever again. He looked at the number on his phone that was not confirmed yet. The man seemed to be in too much of a rush to put in a name. Shuichi hesitated, then put three question marks in as the name.

That night, Shuichi's head was swimming with everything that had happened that day. It seemed to have been a year longer than just twenty four hours, though. He eventually managed to fall into a restless sleep with Kaede's brilliant smile burned into his eyelids.


	3. Chapter 3

Over the rest of the week, he continued as such, with occupying his mind with work, trying to not think about Kaede, and looking at the phone number displayed on his phone, but never contacting it, since he had no idea what to tell the owner of said number. He remembered when he used to take his breaks to meet up with Kaede in the cafe by the station. He used to call her number every night just to say "good night" and to hear her respond with the same thing. He used to look forward to every day when he could see her smile and feel like the sun had shone upon him. He could barely remember a life without Kaede, but he needed to remember it. He needed to go through every day without the sun in his life as he used to.

That Friday evening, Shuichi walked home, as usual. Past the office buildings and shops and restaurants and on and on. Perhaps he should start taking a bus, since even the shortest route ended up taking a while. He passed the bar, and he thought he caught a glimpse of someone familiar, but he was sure he just imagined it, so.he kept walking.

"Hey! Hey, wait!"

Someone grabbed Shuichi's arm. He spun around, his brain on high alert at the possibility of a threat.

Yet the person was a familiar face. "Ah, it really is you." The young man let go of his grip on Shuichi's arm. "Sorry for startling you."

Shuichi slowly felt his adrenaline die, relaxing as he registered the man more clearly. "Oh. Uh, no, it's fine," he managed out.

The man rubbed the back of his neck. "I know this is probably pretty sudden, but I realized that I never got your name, so I thought that if I came here again, I might see you, and, well, here we are."

"I see. Do you need any more help with drunk people?" Shuichi tried to put on a humorous smile with the joke. It felt like he smiled correctly, anyway.

Musical laughter slipped past the man's lips. "No, my coworker bailed me out tonight. I just wanted to know the name of the guy that saved me."

Shuichi shook his head. "I didn't really save you."

"You did."

There was a high likelihood that the conversation would devolve into a pointless argument, so Shuichi simply gave in. "Fine. My name is Shuichi Saihara."

"Nice to meet you." the man stuck out his hand, which Shuichi took in a brief handshake. "My name's Rantaro Amami." He then took a step back and gave a deep bow, his torso almost parallel to the ground. "Thank you very much for helping me, Shuichi Saihara."

Shuichi panicked a bit at the formalities. "Ah, you don't need to do that! Please raise your head." Somehow, being the recipient of such a form of gratitude was a bit embarrassing.

The man named Rantaro Amami did as he was told, but it soon turned out that he had yet to finish. "Have you eaten dinner yet?" he asked.

The question came from out of nowhere, and it was so innocent that Shuichi responded without thinking. "N-no, I haven't."

Rantaro's face seemed to light up. "Great! If you'd like, how about I treat you tonight? I know a good place not far from here. It should still be open."

Shuichi was taken aback. Things were happening too quickly for his tired mind to process. Why did Rantaro want to eat with him anyway? Was this to repay him, as he said he would? How could he politely tell this man no? Well, he could make up something, like he had to meet up with his girlfriend-

Kaede was creeping into his head again, and with her came the image of a blue face that would never smile again. A wave of nausea washed over him again. God, not again, he thought as he covered his mouth, swallowing hard in the hopes that it would tell his mostly empty stomach to calm down and not turn itself inside out.

"Are you okay?" He heard Rantaro beside him, and there was a hand on his shoulder.

Shuichi stood up straight, focusing his attention on the man next to him. He needed distraction, if just for a short while. "I'm fine," he said, "I just thought I was about to sneeze." It was a lame lie, but Rantaro seemed to believe it well enough. "Anyways, yeah, that sounds good."

"Great! This place is really good, I promise." Rantaro seemed rather cheerful as he turned and started to walk in the direction that Shuichi had come from. Shuichi followed close behind him, counting the doors they passed along the way in the hopes that it would keep his mind focused. It was only partly successful.


	4. Chapter 4

The restaurant was one of the many that Shuichi had passed by on his way to and from work, and while he had noticed it in the past, he never really gave it enough attention to recognize its name until that moment. It was located near some office buildings, and it's exterior was warm and welcoming. It probably was a fairly popular place, Shuichi thought as he stood outside of it. Rantaro held open the door for him, so he took a deep breath and went in.

A waiter led them to a table soon after they entered the establishment. They took their seats at the small table for two, and two menus were placed in front of them. Glancing over the menu's items, Shuichi found that the restaurant seemed to specialize in comfort foods.

"Have you ever been here before?" Rantaro asked him.

He shook his head. "I've never thought to stop by before."

Rantaro chuckled. "Oh man, you don't know what you've been missing. Well, you will soon." That sounded vaguely threatening, but Shuichi let it slip for the time being since it was matched with such a good natured smile. This man seemed to be a charmer.

Rantaro went on to talk about how it was near his workplace and a coworker had recommended it to him and so on, but Shuichi was only half listening at that point. He was trying to remember the last time he had any of the dishes that were listed on the menu. The soonest memory that came up was in high school, when he would have mundane dinners with his uncle and aunt. So years, he concluded, sighing.

They gave their orders to the waiter after a few minutes, then prepared themselves for a few more minutes of waiting for their food. "Ah, by the way, should I call you Mr. Saihara?" Rantaro inquired.

Shuichi shook his head. "I mean, there’s no to be so formal. I think just 'Shuichi' would be fine."

"Alright, but that means you should call me 'Rantaro,' if we're going by that." Rantaro gave another easy going laugh. He seemed to be the type to laugh a lot, Shuichi observed, if that natural looking smile was anything to go by.

By the time their food had arrived, Rantaro had fully taken the lead in whatever conversation that had transpired. Shuichi felt a ping of guilt for making the conversation one sided, but in a way, he was relieved. At least in this way, he would not have to talk so much, but could instead let his mind fill up with random stories. He was not sure when Rantaro had started eating, but the food was disappearing from the plate, so he assumed that Rantaro was somehow eating food in between his non-stop sentences.

"Shuichi." The mention of his name caused him to focus on Rantaro's words. "Do you like it?"

Shuichi nodded. "Yeah. It's good." He answered honestly.

Another smile. "That's great."

There were a few moments of comfortable silence as the two finished eating. Shuichi was glad for the food- it made him feel warm for a few moments. Yet when he thought about how he may not eat anything truly made at home for a very long time, there was a sort of dissatisfaction. At least he could pretend that he was a teenager again, enjoying dinner on one of the few rare days when everyone was home to eat it.

The check was brought over not long after they were done. Shuichi went to take out his wallet, but Rantaro had reached the bill first. "I got it," he told Shuichi.

Shuichi shook his head as he opened his wallet. "No, it's fine. I can pay."

"Nope. I got it," Rantaro insisted.

"Can't we at least split?"

Rantaro chuckled. "I said I was treating you, right? There'd be no point if we just split the bill."

Shuichi wanted to object more, but the other leapt out of his seat and headed to the front register. He gave a small huff, but he put away his wallet in defeat. A moment later, he locked eyes with Rantaro, who waved him over to leave. With a sigh, he stood up.

"You don't play fair," Shuichi commented with some fake annoyance as they left the restaurant.

"Sure I do. I just know how win with what I have." Rantaro’s almost sly smile indicated that he may have also thought it to be cheating, however.

"Hey, sorry for rambling on and on back there," Rantaro went on. "I was just so excited that someone actually went out to eat with me when I invited them, and I sort of just..." He made a gesture with his hand. "...couldn't stop talking."

"No, it's alright." Shuichi tried to give his best reassuring smile. "I had fun."

"Really?" The other man's eyes sparkled hopefully. "Then my plan was a success."

Shuichi felt the corners of his mouth tug up on their own into something genuine at Rantaro's joy. "Ah, you're debt's been paid with this, right?"

"Huh, I guess you're right." Somehow, Rantaro almost seemed disappointed about that fact. Or was he just seeing things? "I mean, do you think I repaid you?"

"Um, I'd think you paid it off. I-" He caught himself, realizing the embarrassing thing he was about to say. However, he was too late, and Rantaro looked interested. He nervously gulped before continuing, "I, uh, needed some company. So thanks for tonight."

Rantaro's smile grew wider than it had all night for a brief second that Shuichi almost missed. "Then could we hang out again? Maybe as friends?"

Once again, Shuichi found himself surprised by this strange man. Perhaps he should just expect Rantaro to does something unexpected. Yet the idea of a friendship with him did not seem like a bad one. In fact, it was the most pleasant thought that ever entered his head all week. He found himself nodding in agreement. "Yeah. I think... that'd be nice."

There was a sense of deja vu with the whole scenario. He thought of a scene where he ran into a young woman for a second time. She lit up his world for only a few brief moments, yet that was enough for him to grow attached to the warmth. So when it seemed it would slip quietly out of his sight forever, he reached out and took it with the promise of a third meeting. 

Why did this man want to reach out to him? What light did he hope would be there for him? Would his heart break too soon?

"Shuichi?" The sound of his name being called felt like his head had broken the surface of his violent ocean of thoughts for a moment. "Hey, are you okay?"

"Ah, yeah." That was mostly a lie.

Rantaro understandably looked unconvinced, but he seemed to thankfully dismiss it. "I was just saying that I'm pretty bad at using the phone, so I'll probably forget to call or text to make plans."

"Okay." There was more that needed to be said, Shuichi told himself. He had to tell Rantaro something else.

"So if I forget, then could you message me to make plans? Oh, I need to give you my usual work schedule, right? Haha, you need to remind me to send you that, too."

"Okay." A voice in his head was screaming at him to say more, say more.

"Well then, I'll be off-"

"I-" Shuichi's voice came out louder than he wanted, but it got Rantaro to stop from turning to leave. He cleared his throat and tried to get his anxieties and thoughts organized into words. "I'm not... great at meeting up. My job keeps me busy, and stuff always pops up and calls me away."

There was a moment of silence, with Shuichi looking down at his hands. He could feel the other's gaze on him, but there was a fear to meet his eyes. What would Rantaro's eyes reveal? What would his own give away? Finally, there was a soft chuckle. "Guess we both have something to work on, huh?" There was a pat on his shoulder. "Don't worry. I'm flexible. Friends have to work with each other, right?"

Flexible. Just like Kaede was, accepting only meeting in a cafe for a few minutes every day without any comment. "... Do you really want to be friends with a guy you've only met twice?"

"Sure." Shuichi could hear the joy in his voice. "You're a decent guy, from what I've seen. Just don't take my wallet, 'cause I need to save whatever extra money I get. But it's fine so long as you're fine with it. Are you?

Was he fine with it? It was not the first time it happened, but seeing how the first time ended- No, he needed to take this chance. "Yes. I am."

"Great. Then we'll stay in touch." Shuichi could only nod in response. "It's getting really late now, so I better get going. Later!" Rantaro turned on his heels in the opposite direction that Shuichi needed to go. He waved to the man as he left, and thankfully Rantaro turned around and waved back, acknowledging his quiet farewell.

When Shuichi finally got back to his apartment, he took a quick shower and dressed in his sleepwear before throwing himself face first onto his bed. He looked up at the phone he left on the nightstand. At this time, he would be calling Kaede, finding that she had stayed up late just so she could say goodnight back. He crawled over and picked up the phone, turning it on. He found himself scrolling through his contacts until he landed on the name "Kaede Akamatsu." He stared at it for what was probably only a few seconds, yet they crawled by so slowly. His fingers were steady with practice as they hit the call button, but the rest of him trembled. He held the phone up to his ear, barely able to keep it from slipping out of his hands.

An automated voice came through, saying the number was unavailable.

Of course. What else was he expecting? He let go of his phone, letting the screen turn off itself as it hit the bed with a muted thud.


	5. Chapter 5

It was either that the universe had sympathy on him or that it was out to get him that day. Those were the only explanations as to why Shuichi was able to truthfully message Rantaro that he was able to get off of work early. Arrangements to meet up were promptly made, and a few hours later, Shuichi found himself standing outside of a different restaurant than the last time they met. He had found the time to change out of his work clothes into a comfortable shirt and jeans.

"Shuichi!" His head turned towards the person who called his name. Rantaro jogged up to him, also wearing casual clothes. "Did I make you wait long?"

Shuichi shook his head. "Not at all," he responded honestly.

The other let out his usual easy going laugh. "Darn, I was sure I'd be early, but you ended up being the earlier one."

"Is this a competition now?" Shuichi jested.

"Oh, that sounds fun. How about whoever arrives later than the other has to pay?" A sly grin spread across Rantaro's face.

"Hey, that'll make me broke!" Aside from this one rare occasion, Shuichi was often the one arriving just barely on time. That was one thing that being with Kaede-

"Oh, you're the type to be late?"

"Not late, just usually not early." His voice was a mutter, trying his best to focus on their banter instead of Kaede. "Anyway, if that applies, then you'll have to pay today."

"Oh, that's true." Rantaro's smile faltered at that, the reaction being enough of a distraction that Shuichi could even laugh. "Can I take it back?"

"Of course." Shuichi turned to the restaurant's entrance. "Well, neither of us are paying if we don't head inside."

"Right, right." Rantaro headed towards the door, with Shuichi following close behind.

Once they were seated at a table inside, Shuichi busied himself with looking around the place. The restaurant had a fairly different mood to it than the one from the day before. Rather than having a warm, homely atmosphere like the last one, it was light hearted. "What is this place?" he asked Rantaro.

"I don't know," the man responded in an instant. "I just wanted to try it, since I saw it a few times ." He chuckled some more. "I was always curious, but it's kind of fun to try out something new with a friend, you know?"

They went through with ordering food, making small talk, then getting food to eat. Rantaro seemed to really savor the food he got. "Ah, this has a nice sweetness to it," he sang. Then he looked up at Shuichi and said, "Hey, mind if I have a bite of what you got?"

Shuichi nodded, letting the other take a bit of food off of his plate. It was almost funny how Rantaro seemed so excited just by eating something new, like he was a child that got the latest toy as a present. "Are you a foodie or something?" he commented.

He received a surprised expression for a second, followed by realization. "Oh yeah, this is the second time we went out to eat." Rantaro tapped a finger to his chin. "Rather than just looking for food to try, I guess I really like to try new things in general. It's kind of exciting to experience something you've never experienced before."

"Really?" Like finding the best coffee in town, or getting a book to read together, or going out on a date, or trying to find a hopeless love in each other. Shuichi's eyes wandered about Rantaro's person before falling on his ears. In the brighter lighting, he could make out little holes that had been pierced into them. There were so many, too. Was he one of those people who used to be a punk in their youth? Or was it just another thing that he 'tried?' "You must be popular with how adventurous you are," Shuichi commented absentmindedly.

"You think so?" Another chuckle. "Well, everyone that's my superior at work tend to come to me, but that's only to either dump more work on me or go drinking with them. The woes of being the new guy, I guess."

Shuichi noticed how the man's face fell at that fact, and he could not help but laugh softly at his despair. Perhaps it was because of some impulse to be entertained by someone else's pain, or maybe it was because he could relate to it so well. "I went through something similar when I first got my job. It gets better after a while," he assured Rantaro. "So long as you do your job right, they'll let you take on more serious stuff. That's usually how it goes, anyway." Just be patient and do as you're told. Shuichi lived by those words day in and day out, and in a way, it paid off. In a way, it was a mistake.

"Well, if you say it works, then I'll take your advice. Couldn't hurt, right?"

"Right."

Once they finished eating, they decided to split the bill this time before heading out. Evening had fallen by the time they left the restaurant, the last rays of the summer sun dying the horizon pinks and purples before mixing with twilight.

Shuichi turned as he heard Rantaro’s steps behind him. The street lights highlighted some of his features, from his gentle green eyes to the way his ruffled hair slightly cast a shadow over his face. Somehow, it made Rantaro seem like a mystery despite his talkative nature, and that left an unsettled feeling in Shuichi's stomach. He really only knew a little portion of this man's character, after all. What was hidden behind his free smiles and friendly words? A sad story? A bad habit? Loneliness? He shook his head as if it could shake off his anxieties. This was only their third meeting. He will learn if he gave Rantaro time to tell him. So long as he did not learn too late.

"Hey, Shuichi." Rantaro's voice brought him back to reality. "Want to take a walk? Maybe to the nearest park?"

"A walk?" How strange. Usually someone would only take a walk this late if it were some impromptu date or someone was drunk. Then again, maybe this was fitting to Rantaro’s nature. "Sure," he agreed.

And so he was led by Rantaro down blocks and crosswalks until they had reached a large area of greenery and walking paths. Shuichi faintly remembered going to this park once. That was to investigate a series of muggings.

"Have you ever been here before?" Rantaro asked as he started to walk down a pathway.

"Yeah, once," Shuichi said simply as he followed, "Have you?"

"Yeah. I come here sometimes, since my apartment isn't far from here. I don’t really like coming at night, though."

"Why?"

Rantaro shrugged. "At night, you still can't see the stars. Guess it's kinda like home, with all the trees, but when I look up, I remember I'm in a big city." He turned to sit at a bench, then patted the space next to him.

Shuichi complied and took a seat next to him. "Do the stars really make a difference?"

"They make a huge difference," Rantaro countered. "If you took all the lights in the city and put them in the sky, you'd only have a few stars here and there. But all those photos that they use for wallpapers and stuff don't even compare to seeing it in person." Rantaro's eyes drifted up to the inky black of the sky. "It felt like being under a dome with billions of small lights in the ceiling. I used to sneak out late at night to pretend I was an adventurer sleeping outside with nothing but the stars and moon to keep me safe." A low chuckle could be heard from the man.

Shuichi also turned his eyes up at the sky, trying to picture such a scene. Take away the glow of the city to reveal a sky with too many tiny lights to count. "It’s kind of hard to imagine," he thought aloud after a moment of trying.

"It'll be easier if you saw it for yourself at least once." There was a small nudge on Shuichi's shoulder, bringing his eyes back to Rantaro. "Hey, would you like to get out of the city with me sometime? Just for a night to stargaze?"

Escape the city with a friend for a night? When was the last time he had been somewhere less than urban? "Yeah. That sounds fun." Something new and exciting.


	6. Chapter 6

There reached a point when a significant portion of his free time was occupied with Rantaro. Even though his work schedule did not allow for him to meet with the man every day, it was still a fairly frequent occurrence. Often times, they would go somewhere they had not been to before. Sometimes it was just a shop or attraction that was nearby, sometimes it was far enough that a taxi or bus would have been more convenient. Rantaro always wanted to walk there, though, and Shuichi always went along. Some places were inside a building, some were not. Most of the time, their options were limited because it was usually evening when they were together.

One day, while Shuichi was taking a short break from work, he received a message from a certain "???." He chuckled at the notification. Even though he knew the name of the person, he kept forgetting to change the name in his contacts. He read the message to find that Rantaro had asked to go to a bar the next time they met up. Did Rantaro like bars and alcohol? Well, he did meet him in front of a bar, but that was when he went out drinking with his coworker, so it was hard to tell. This was his chance to confirm it, though. With that thought in mind, he started to type out a response to meet later in the day when he got out of work.

The bar was not far, though it was in the opposite direction that he usually took to get home, he found out. Once there, he noticed that, under a nearby streetlight, a young man stood. It did not take long to realize that the man was Rantaro, but there was a small difference to his usual appearance. A few tiny surfaces along his ears caught and reflected the light of the streetlight.

Rantaro soon turned his head and met his eyes with Shuichi's, expression brightening. "Shuichi!" he called out. "There you are."

Shuichi ducked his head, knowing that he had promised to meet up with Rantaro at an earlier time. He squeaked out a ‘hey’ in greeting when he was close enough for the other to hear.

"You were running late, so I was wondering if you suddenly got bogged down with work. Ah, but if you're too busy, then you don't have to accompany me."

Shuichi shook his head. "It's not really that bad. I just got caught up with something and lost track of time." Before Rantaro could give any sort of retort, he suggested that the both of them not delay entering the bar for much longer. After all, Rantaro could go on for quite some time with fussing, he had learned.

The place had many patrons inside, but not so many that it was crowded. They easily found two empty seats at the counter. As soon as they sat down, Rantaro called to the bartender to get them two beers.

“Are you sure you’re able to be here? I mean, you look like you just ran out from work.”

He was not wrong in his assessment. Far from it. Shuichi had in fact rushed from the station straight to the bar, stilling wearing the white button up he usually had on the job. Still, Shuichi shook his head as he took out his notebook and a pencil. “I know that I get out of work at pretty unconventional hours, but it’s not like it’s a ‘twenty-four seven’ thing. I told you that I just got way too caught up with solving my current case. Which is still being difficult to solve,” he added with a groan.

“If you say so.” Rantaro seemed to slump in his chair a bit, as if he was becoming more relaxed. “Though when you think about it, we look like a pretty mismatched pair.”

Shuichi could not help but smile a bit. “It looks like I’m the businessman going to a bar with his punk friend.” He motioned at Rantaro’s ears to emphasize his point.

Rantaro mocked a pouting face, electing a giggle to escape Shuichi mouth. "Aw, but I like these piercings! They look cool, and I like how they feel. Oh, but don't go calling me a masochistic. I like their weight, not getting them pierced."

"Noted." Honestly, Shuichi was tempted to call him such a thing right before he said not to. "Well, you do look good with them in." There was no was he could truthfully say he did not.

"Really? Maybe I'll put them in more often." Rantaro’s eyes turned away and slightly distant, as if he was truly considering it.

Soon, the two both had glasses full of beer in front of them. Shuichi's eyes had drifted down to his notebook, the half eaten eraser of his pencil tapping methodically against the open page. He reviewed the in his in his brain over and over, occasionally turning over the pencil to write down facts and evidence as they came up came up in his head. Yet as soon as he got one train of thought going, it was interrupted by the chatter of the bar. Sighing, he shoved the notebook and pencil back into his bag. It should have been expected that a bar was not the ideal place to solve anything complicated.

"Can't think?"

Shuichi looked back up to find his eyes locking with Rantaro's. He jumped slightly in surprise at this, but he recovered quickly enough. "Yeah, though it was probably pretty dumb to try to think in in such a noisy place," he laughed.

Rantaro took a sip of his beer. Actually, the glass looked about half empty at that point. Was he just a fast drinker, or was Shuichi thinking for that long? It would not have been surprising if it was the latter, Shuichi thought in dismay. "Sorry for taking you to a loud place."

"No, it's fine. I should probably take a night to rest, anyway." He was the one who agreed to come along, after all. But that brought up another point. "Oh but... You invited me out, so... Sorry. For trying to work instead."

"No, it's totally fine!" the other assured him. "You said you work as an investigator, right? It must get hectic for you."

"Sometimes it is, but it's the job I wanted." Shuichi picked up his still full glass and raised it to his lips. The foam tickled his lips before the rich liquid slipped onto his tongue and down his throat. The smell of alcohol that was drifting around the bar now flooded his nose from the beer that was so close to his face.

With it came the smell of death.

He tore the glass away from his mouth, staring at it for a second as if his subconscious was accusing it of bringing back that image of Kaede, dead on the floor of a crappy apartment, empty cans and bottles scattered everywhere, face blue, mouth unsmiling and void of life and dead and dead and-

He whipped his head around the place until his eyes landed on the bathroom. The world was spinning and it looked so far away. He half sprinted for it, finding himself pushing open the door in less than a second. Ripping open the door of a stall, he collapsed in front of the toilet, retching up his stomach's contents.

Once his stomach was mostly calm and empty, Shuichi sat back on his heels. He felt so incredibly drained of energy. He wondered for a moment if it would be better to stay in the bathroom until the bar was closed and he was kicked out.

Of course, that option was taken away from him as soon as he heard a voice call to him. "Shuichi?"

He turned to see a pair of legs in front of the open stall. Looking up, he discovered that the legs were attached to Rantaro, who wore a concerned yet uncertain face. "Are you- no that's stupid. You're probably... not okay." Rantaro knelt down on the bathroom floor, their eye levels becoming more equal. "You can't be drunk with just a sip, right? Are you sick, Shuichi? God, you threw up a lot just now. Do you need food? Stomach medicine? Water?"

Despite how awful he was feeling, somehow Rantaro's concern was enough for Shuichi to give the other a weak smile. "Don't worry, Rantaro. I'm not sick." No, he was. It was no virus, but he felt absolutely ill. "I must have eaten something bad earlier, but I'm fine now."

Rantaro did not look convinced despite Shuichi's best attempt. He must have been too tired to make even a small lie convincing. "No, you look worse than someone who only ate something bad. Unless then entire thing was bad. But you're a smart and observant guy, so you'd know if it's gone bad. So what's really wrong with you?"

"I'm really okay." Shuichi tried to show this by standing up, but his legs felt weak and shook under the effort, leading to him needing to use the walls of the stall to help him to his feet. Would Kaede think he was pathetic being the way he was? "But sorry for ruining today. You wanted to visit this place, but I ended up being a killjoy."

Rantaro was soon also on his feet, notably doing so much faster and with more ease than Shuichi. "Forget about it. We can come back here whenever we want, but that'd be harder to do if you aren't feeling well."

Shuichi shook his head, slipping past Rantaro to go to the sink. "But I am feeling well," he lied again as he turned on the faucet. He scooped some water into his mouth to wash it out.

"Please, Shuichi. You look terrible." Shuichi splashed some water on his face before looking up at the bathroom mirror. What he saw was a face that looked completely drained, being only a pathetic version of himself. He jumped back in surprise, seeing his own eyes grow wide. The mirror reflected Rantaro coming up behind him. "See what I mean?"

There was nothing in his head that would qualify as a proper response. All he could think about was how he wished that someone would put joy back into his face. He would give up so much just to see Kaede's smile again. "I miss her."

"Who?" Shuichi felt too tired to respond. He heard Rantaro let out a sigh. "Look, if you don't feel up to drinking, then it's fine if we leave. You can wait outside while I pay. And don't try to argue with me this time."

Shuichi gave a small nod in acknowledgement. It was not like he would find the words to argue at that moment. He stumbled out of the bathroom and stopped by the counter to grab his bag before leaving the bar entirely.


	7. Chapter 7

The cool evening air hit his skin, bringing back some function to his head. As usual, the streets were emptier when it was late out. He never spent any time with Kaede when it was late out. She always said that her students needed a fully awake teacher. Then she would follow it up by saying that he also needed to sleep more. During that time, he perhaps slept for half an hour longer on a usual day. Kaede would smile and call it progress.

"...chi. Shuichi!" Both of his shoulders were grabbed, and his vision of his memories faded into the present. Rantaro was in front of him, either hand clutched firmly onto his shoulders. "Shuichi, what's wrong? Why are you crying?"

Crying? He became half aware of the sensation of salty tears stinging his eyes and rolling down his cheeks before dripping off of his chin. "I don't-" The words caught in his throat as his emotions overflowed, quiet tears morphing into sobs that shook his entire body. He wanted Kaede to be there so badly, but more than that, he wanted to be over his emotions to be the master of his own mind again.

He felt himself be gently led down the street. "Shh. Let's go somewhere quieter." His words were soft and comforting. Shuichi wanted to cling to that warmth of someone's care. Perhaps he could pretend that it was the warmth of the sun that had long since left.

On a bench in an empty park, Shuichi leaned against Rantaro, letting the last of his tears drain. The entire time, Rantaro was patient with him, giving him quiet when he needed quiet and support when he needed support. For that, he could not have been more grateful.

"Are you feeling better?" Rantaro's voice made him feel cared for, loved like he had never been loved in a very long time.

Shuichi took a deep breath, readying his vocal cords to return to begin used for speech. "Yeah, I'm fine now. Thanks." Although he did not want to leave the other's shoulder, he knew he had to. With great reluctance, he sat up and faced Rantaro.

After all the trouble the man went through for him, Shuichi knew that he had to explain himself. Yet every time he tried to think of what to say, he was at a loss on where to start. How does one go about explaining such a wound? Of course, seeing how much concern and attention he gave, how could Shuichi leave him with nothing?

He locked eyes with Rantaro. "I... I'm not sure... how to put it in words. There's a lot that I've never... really dealt with properly, and I don't know how to start. But if... if you want to listen, then I swear I'll explain it to you some day. I can’t today, but I swear I'll tell you someday."

Rantaro took a moment to react, but when he did, he reached out to grab Shuichi's hand, giving it a gentle squeeze. "Yeah. I'll wait for you, okay? I'll wait as long as you need me to."

He could not stand to make eye contact much longer, his attention shifting down to the hand that was holding his own. "Sorry... for making you wait."

"It's fine, Shuichi." The grip on his hand became slightly tighter. "Some things take time, right? So it's understandable that you need a while to sort it all out."

Shuichi let out a sigh, feeling the fog in his head start to clear, even if by only a bit. "Thank you." How would he explain his relationship with Kaede? How he felt about her? How they broke up? How he found her? He still did not have the answers, but he would find them. Then he would give them all to the Rantaro who waited patiently just for him.

Rantaro walked Shuichi home, telling him random, light-hearted. His voice filled in the spaces in between the streetlights with tales of fun and joy. They held hands for the entire walk, providing a source of warmth in the cool night.

They stopped once they were in front of the apartment complex. In truth, Shuichi wanted to take Rantaro up to his apartment just to hold on to the warmth he had for as long as possible, but he could not be so selfish when he was already given so much.

"This is the place." Shuichi turned to the other. "Thanks for... everything."

"Yeah, no problem." Rantaro took a deep breath. "So it's goodnight, huh?"

"Yeah." He would tell Kaede good night at that moment, and she would return it with a smile. They would have parted with a promise to see each other the next day. "I'll... repay you, somehow."

"But I'm just doing something for my friend." Their eyes locked. "You don't have to repay me for anything."

Shuichi felt a smile creep up to his lips. Rantaro was so kind to him. "I still will."

Rantaro let out a sigh, but he was also smiling. "Fine, but you really don't have to worry about it. See you tomorrow."

"Yeah, see you." He watched as Rantaro turned and made his way down the street, his back growing smaller as the distance increased.

He told himself to go inside already. It felt like it took more effort than necessary to peel his eyes away from Rantaro's retreating figure, but he did eventually turn around, heading to his apartment.

Shuichi sloppily dropped his belongings at the entrance once he was inside the darkened apartment before heading to the shower, only bothering to turn on the bathroom lights. A few minutes later, he was in a clean set of comfortable clothes, a towel draped over his wet hair in a sorry attempt to dry it.

He was about to head to his bed, but a thought crept into his mind. There was one last thing he needed to do, or else his night would not be complete. He went back to the entrance to dig through his bag. Once he retrieved his phone from the bottom, he hurried to the bedroom, turning on the device as he did so. Throwing himself on the bed, he scrolled through his contacts, pausing at Kaede's number, then deciding to keep scrolling until he saw the one named "???". He selected the button to send a text to the number, his fingers typing out the phrase "goodnight" in seconds. Without hesitation, he hit the button to send it. Then he felt a sense of regret shoot through him. It was a stupid gesture, he thought as he dropped his phone next to him on the bed. What was the point?

Yet not even a minute later, the phone vibrated to life. Shuichi jumped in surprise, but recovered quickly as he hurried to pick up the device. There was a notification, which he opened.

The other side replied with the message, "Goodnight, Shuichi. Sweet dreams!"

He felt his eyes start to tear up again. His lips moved, mouth barely whispering to the quiet darkness of the room, "Goodnight, Kaede."


	8. Chapter 8

It was procrastination. Shuichi knew it, but he still kept up a pointless ruse of avoiding the topic of Kaede with Rantaro. Even when a perfect opportunity popped up, Shuichi could not help but freeze right before taking that promised first step. He knew he was lucky that Rantaro was patient with him, but after a week of topic changes and apologies, Shuichi found himself scolding his own reflection that morning before work. Why was he always running away?

He let out an angry sigh before washing off his face. No matter how much he yelled at himself, it did not do much unless he actually did something about it. Thinking about a situation was what he did best, but he never acted when he needed to. If he was, his personal life might have been less of a mess. He could have told Kaede just how much she meant to him instead of just sitting idle as her light became further and further away until it was put out entirely.

Work that day consisted of helping a senior find witnesses for a case. He mulled over papers and the evidence already collected, but his output was low, unable to completely focus on the case when his head spiraled around Kaede and Rantaro and Kaede again. Eventually, he was told that he was working much slower than he usually did and was gently forced to call it a day early. It was frustrating, but he knew that trying to think with his messy mind was pointless.

Soon, Shuichi found himself walking along the city streets, coffee in hand, trying to let his mind clear up in the cool air. He was almost surprised at how familiar the sidewalks have become to him. The sun began to cast longer shadows on the earth as the streetlights started to flicker on; signals of the approaching evening. He had wondered what it would have been like if Kaede was still there, walking beside him as they held hands to share warmth while holding coffees in their free hands. He imagined Kaede bathed in the late afternoon light, talking about everything yet nothing in particular. Perhaps they would even walk until they found a spot with a good view of the sky just as the sun started to set.

But those were only delusions, he knew. His free hand was cold and empty, and his ears registered no voice next to him that belonged to Kaede.

Instead, a different voice cut into his consciousness. "Shuichi!"

He turned around to see Rantaro jog up to him, dressed in a business suit. "Haha, I knew I saw your back." The man flashed him a smile as he came to a stop.

Shuichi gave his friend a small greeting. "Did you just get out of work? Is it already five?"

"Uh, kind of yes to both. Five o'clock passed a while ago, actually. Did you lose track of the time or something?"

So Shuichi had been aimlessly walking for almost an hour. Great. "Guess I did," he chuckled. "I spaced out for a while, I think."

The corners of Rantaro’s lips turned down slightly. "Spaced out? That's pretty dangerous, Shuichi, even if it's the afternoon."

"Sorry." He took a sip of his coffee. It was not quite as hot as it was earlier, which he found fairly disappointing. He guessed that was what happened when he forgot about it for an hour.

"Don't apologize to me. Apologize to yourself." Rantaro shook his head, but then gave a smile. "Well, I'm here now, so I'll make sure you're safe."

"Thanks." Shuichi continued walking, now knowing that Rantaro was keeping pace at his side.

"Say, why are you walking around this early? Aren't you usually still working around this time?"

Shuichi felt his heart sink. How was he supposed to explain that he had to go home early because he could not stop thinking about Kaede and how to explain everything to Rantaro? He did not even want to think about Kaede anymore, because with her came a torrent of regret.

But what if no other opportunities occurred? He had to stop running, just this once.

"Rantaro," he started after a long pause, hearing his own voice shake. He took a deep breath, then continued, "Could we... go to that park? The one you like?"

He did not have enough spare courage to look directly at Rantaro, spending it all on keeping his legs from collapsing under him. Still, he could almost feel the odd look his friend was giving him. "Alright," was all he got before he was led down the maze of sidewalks, not a single word being exchanged between them as they walked.

The park was more populated while the sun was out, now having the chatter from people and plenty of foot traffic all along the walkways. Shuichi saw a bench that was empty and headed to it. He sat down, and not a second later, he saw out of the corner of his eye Rantaro take a seat next to him.

"What's up, Shuichi?" Rantaro’s voice sounded tired, but there was no malice or annoyance. Rather, kindness and concern overshadowed however weary he was.

Shuichi took another sip of lukewarm coffee, then did not respond. He brought himself and Rantaro here, but there still was not anything that he could think of to convey everything.

But something was better than the stifling silence he had made.

"I found Kaede... a few days after she died."

Rantaro did not produce any immediate response. Shuichi did not blame him for pausing at such a sudden confession. He decided to fill in that delay before Rantaro could. He explained how he had dated Kaede for a few months, but she eventually broke up with him. How just a few days afterwards, he had been invited to help investigate her disappearance only to find her dead in her apartment, having drunken herself to death the night they had broken up. "I... If I'd been a better boyfriend, she might have... If I'd given her more time and paid more attention, then we wouldn't have broken up, or I'd know if she had a drinking problem, or that her apartment was so lonely and small. If I told her I loved her, then she'd... Kaede would-" He cut himself off, bringing a hand up to his mouth to stop the hurtful words from tumbling out, for he felt tears would fall along with them.

"I never wanted it -us- to end that way," he barely managed to whisper out, more to himself than to Rantaro.

This time, Shuichi waited for Rantaro to respond. Yet there was nothing. Shuichi felt his mind crumble with every second that passed of no sound coming out of the man beside him. He needed Rantaro's voice to fill up the void that all of his darkest thoughts and guilt had spilled from. He needed the other's warm and sure nature to grasp onto, something to stop Kaede from tormenting his mind. But memories of her were starting to flood in again. No matter what he did, no matter the time that passed, he felt that he could never forget how he found the light of his life had flickered out and could never come back.

Shuichi had told himself not to run, but there was a strong urge to run away again. He could not take the silence he had caused because the space between them was being filled with Kaede, Kaede, Kaede. He stood from the bench. "Sorry for dumping this all-"

The sensation of his wrist being grabbed froze him in place. Rantaro's grasp was firm, then tight. So tense that Shuichi could feel a tremble in the hand that caught him. A tug that had no force behind it had Shuichi sitting back on the bench. He could hear Rantaro finally take a few ragged breaths. Shuichi kept his gaze firmly on his own lap, unable to look at his friend.

Finally, Rantaro's voice, cracking with raw emotions that he could never have anticipated, rang through his eardrums. "You… knew Kaede? Kaede Akamatsu?"

At this, Shuichi felt a need to finally look up at his friend. He felt that the other had some sort of familiarity with Kaede, yet he could not see how. After all, Kaede’s case was not special enough to be in the news. Was there a chance…? "Rantaro? What do you...?"

Rantaro shook his head. Shuichi's heart ached when he saw that his face also looked ready to burst into tears, silencing him in an instant. "I'm..." Rantaro took some more breaths, then continued, "Next week, could you take a day off? If you can, then... I'll take you both to see the stars."


	9. Chapter 9

They took a train out of the city as soon as Shuichi was out of work, riding for almost an hour before reaching the closest station to their destination. Somehow, they caught a night bus just in time, which Rantaro said he preferred compared to taking a car. That leg of the journey lasted for about another hour.

As they traveled, Rantaro told Shuich all of the details of his and Kaede’s youth that he could; about how he and Kaede were childhood friends, how she played the piano, how he used to always listen to her play, how she had grown distant from him at the end of high school, and how after they had graduated, she had left without any warning, much less a goodbye. He said he always wanted to apologize to Kaede for whatever happened that made her distant as they grew up.

“But, I guess it’s harder to do now,” he bitterly laughed. “Actually, a few days before you told me you knew her, I got a call from home. Kaede’s parents asked me to come to her funeral. I… honestly didn’t want to go. I wouldn’t really know what to do with myself. But you…” There was a pause. Shuichi locked eyes with him for a second, hoping it would be enough to encourage him to go on. Rantaro took a deep breath. “When you told me that you knew her, I thought that you’d… want to see her again.”

Shuichi nodded slowly, partly out of a need to process the words, partly so his head would not bob more violently than necessary as the bus went down a bumpy road. “Thanks, Rantaro. For thinking about me.” In a way, he really did need it.

They got off the bus at a small town, plots of farm land not far away. The sidewalks were not very well lit, only having a few street lights scattered around. Compared to the city, the amount of buildings looked sparse, and many of them had their lights out. "Look at the sky," Rantaro almost whispered Shuichi. Shuichi did as he was told, and his breath hitched in his throat. The usual black, inky emptiness he had always called the night sky was now littered with billions upon billions of little shining dots filling up his vision.

"Isn't it beautiful?" There was no need for Rantaro to ask. Shuichi, not quite able to find his breath, nodded. "This... I used to drag Kaede out at night with me all the time in the summer. We always... caught fireflies, or watched the moon, or count the stars." A low, gentle chuckle sounded in his throat. "She'd always complain that she was tired, or that it was too dark, but she came with me anyway."

They tore their eyes away from the sky to continue on their walk, Shuichi finding out that the streets were full of stories of a younger Rantaro and Kaede, causing mischief or making music or simply relaxing with their favorite snacks in hand. They all sounded so warm and comfortable, and Shuichi drunk in each tale that spilled from Rantaro's lips.

At last, they had reached Rantaro's old house. His parents and younger siblings were there to greet them, but it was way too ungodly an hour to have any sort of celebration, so Shuichi followed Rantaro up to his old room. The family had already made the bed and laid out extra bedding for Shuichi to sleep on the floor. All they had to do was unpack what they had brought for the night as well as their black formal suits, which they hung up in a small closet to be ironed then worn in the morning.

Shuichi noticed how Rantaro seemed to stare for a very long time at his own suit. "I bought it for work, but I never thought that I'd have to wear it to my friend's funeral." Shuichi could not agree more with that sentiment. In the morning, they were to wear those black suits to say their last goodbyes to Kaede Akamatsu. Over a month ago, he had said farewell to that same girl with a promise to spend time with her again, but he could remember that day like is had happened much sooner. It was not quite the same, but he had to settle for it.

Shuichi let out a sigh as his eyes turned to the window, the stars still twinkling bright outside. He imagined a younger Kaede laughing happily with a younger Rantaro. Did she laugh the same way she did when she was cast in the daylight, sitting in a cafe with lesson plans on a computer in front of her and a joke on her tongue?

As Shuichi fell asleep that night, his dreams saw Kaede join the stars, making the night even brighter.

**Author's Note:**

> These endnotes will mention things from both the og fic and this one. I’m pretty much rambling on
> 
> Listen, when I say that no one asked for this fic, I mean that no one, not even I, asked for this. I’d wanted to keep writing stories using this normal life AU that I’d made, so the original plan was to make it even more focused around the coffee shop duo. But at around chapter 2 of that, I realized that it no longer fit the way I’d written Where Words Can Reach, so I scrapped it pretty early on. I could have written so many other things, though, like Kaede, Kaito, and Maki’s college days, or Kaede and Rantaro growing up, or a normal Shuichi and Rantaro fic. But nooo, my murderous hand said “Hey, remember that time when Kaede bought a case of beer? We killing her.” Then she ended up dead. Incredible…
> 
> There were also a lot of scrapped ideas for this. At first, Rantaro was going to be as present as he was in WWCR and Maki and Kaito were going to be his main source of support. But then I couldn’t figure out how to add them smoothly, so Rantaro ended up popping up a lot more. Well, it made for a shorter fic that was easier to edit, so it turned out alright. Maybe the trio will meet at the funeral, but it looks like the trio didn’t happen once again. I had planned to make this fic more shippy, but then the story lost focus, so that had to be cut during editing. Well, I still managed to slip some in there, but it’s really not much. There was also one part that I had cut by complete accident during editing, but it also ended up working out
> 
> For those of you that have read WWCR, you might have noticed some things are different. One such is Rantaro's crush. Does he have it still? Who knows. Also, in the og fic, I realized that I'd described him with green hair and having his piercings in, which I had completely meant to change. I mean, he's an office worker, so I don't think they'd allow him to look like a punk, as hot as he is. I won't change it in the og fic since it helps identify him better, but I definitely wanted to fix it in this one. I still alluded to it, though, because like I said, he's hot.
> 
> I mostly based this fic off of my experiences with coping with death. What had always crushed me was not the fact that they were gone, but that I was left with a hundred regrets afterwards. I've learned to not let those regrets take over my life, but to instead let them help keep their memory alive. I hope Shuichi learns the same.
> 
> Thanks for comments and the kudos guys! This was just a quick project, but it makes me so happy to know that whatever effort I did put into it paid off. And most importantly, thank you for reading!


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